Dear Diary,

 Sorry for not updating for a couple of days. I've been working and just too exhausted to do anything. I'm thinking of going on a weekend spa getaway, but I have no idea where to go or anyone to go with. It just doesn't seem practical and I don't feel like I have the time or energy. I'm noticing though that work is taking a toll on my physical and mental health again, which makes me angry at myself that I can't make time for myself and self care because I'm physically exhausted and in pain. 

Then I get overstimulated at trying to plan time for myself and I just push it off. Money is also an issue. I'm trying to save so I can move out but also pay off debt and my credit card. I want to buy a new bed because the one I'm sleeping on right now has been hurting my body for months. I also want to see the Jonas Brothers in concert again for the Burnin Up All Over Again tour in NJ in December. I saw them opening night at MSG last month which was crazy I even got tickets for that. But I want to see them again! 

I also want to get back into dancing, take classes and enjoy the feeling of dance again. I have so much I want to do but I am so overstimulated I feel like I can't do any of it. I don't know if that makes any sense or if I'm just being a cry baby. 

P.S. I'm listening to Heat by Chris Brown right now and yes I'm crying... this is pretty normal for me at this point.