Dear Diary,

 

I'm sitting in a Starbucks right now, blogging for the first time ever. I come here so much they basically know who I am. As I'm writing, Pocket Full of Sunshine starts playing. The vibes are immaculate right now!! I know I was born in the year 2000 but sometimes I wish I was a teen back then to experience life when doomscrolling wasn't the norm. I genuinely loved when social media wasn't a thing, even though I was just a kid. My generation grew up in the rise of new technology, but we also grew up with what the late 90s kids had, or even what are parents had because it was just that era of living. 

Us 2000's kids understand what its like to grow up without and iPad or and iPhone because we were there when it came out. We were the last generation to have physical media! It's insane to me that the newer generations will never understand what it was like to live life during that age. Nostalgia for my childhood has been hitting me so hard lately and it makes me physically ill sometimes. I remember sitting in my room playing with my pink DS playing Barbie the Horse Riding game. If ykyk what I'm talking about. Gameboy, playing Mario Bros! Ugh... anything Mario was my all time favorite game to play as a kid,

Even computer games, like Club Penguin, Wizard 101, Purble House, Webkinz?! The world slowly lost its whimsy and it took ours along with it. We used to be so imaginative, like anything was possible. "But Alexis, that's what happens when you grow up-", OH BULLSHIT. I'm tired of everyone saying that. We deserve to live the way we want. Let your inner child out! I was always told the way my mind worked, how I acted was 'too much' for people. No one understood me and I believed for a long time that it was a bad thing. 

Don't get me wrong, growing up back then wasn't for the weak, we all got bullied. I remember in school all of the anti bullying campaigns we'd have. It was a time that's for sure. Even through all the bullying and being told I'll never make it in life, or the struggles at home in my family life, somehow I still managed to have a semi good childhood. Through all the days and nights I cried to myself in my room asking God to take away the pain, I still had good moments. Moments I wish I could relive and stay there for a while. 

If you are feeling the same way as me, you're not alone. Nostalgia is a bitch. We should be grateful for it though. It just means we experienced beautiful things that we can always look back on. A specific song or a scent can instantly bring you back to the past which I've always found so fascinating. I have this problem of holding onto things for too long. I never really give myself a chance to move on because I don't want lose the good things because I know I'll never get it back. And if by some miracle I do get it back? It was because I didn't learn my lesson the first time. We are always growing and evolving. We can miss things but we can't stay stuck in the past, no matter how much we want too, or how easy it is. Growth is hard but it doesn't have to be difficult. 

I think we forgot how to have fun. I really hope that our generation isn't "cooked". I hope we can still fix it and show our children and grandchildren a world where we don't have to worry so much. If you read this far, congratulations you just won a brand new car!! 

Haha, just kidding- got ya ;)